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traumahealingc

He



 

He locks the door

She trapped and can’t escape

She can’t run anywhere. She’s hasn’t got anyone to turn. He’s made sure of that.

Her mind is no longer hers , her heart is racing. Blood pumping through her body.

Another cigarette to comfort her as the drugs don’t seem to have worked. Except numb any feelings and most likely make her feels worse.

She hears the key going in the door. She quickly runs to the sofa and puts on her blinds on her eyes. She knows he’s not alone.


Believe it or not she was once a good girl.


Another night and another performance. A night to be someone else.

She wants the night to be over and for all of them to be relieved. She doesn’t know who they are and has the blinds on so she doesn’t have to see. He is calling her all these dirty names and ones she doesn’t believe.

They all leave and now it’s the another beginning of another end.


Again … she was once a good girl….


He wants to watch a movie with her. A horror one for sure, so he can sit there and enjoy that so called performance.

He’s very quick to critique her - her heavy breathing to him looks like she’s exicited when all she was afraid of what she was about to endure. She looks at her body and skinny it has gone. She has lost her appetite for a week but to him she looks like a school girl! She’s looks at her acne and how dead her face looks. But he is getting angry why she isn’t smiling. She can hear him say that she’s needs to speak in the movie - so goes over the lines she rehearsed with him knowing it will make him happy.


Did I say she was once a good girl ….

She’s dead inside, can’t feel anything and is dead inside - I said twice! How else can you describe her. What good was the blinds if he videotaped her. Her soul is destroyed, what does she have to live for? She stayed with him out of fear, she stayed with him wanting the nice him again but it all seems to have disappeared and is never aiming back again.

She wonders how she got here now and knows it’s because the world had forgotten her and abandoned her . She wanted Love and closeness but instead she became a slave she of someone’s else lust and desires.


That’s the story of the girl who thought she was once good...... she still is


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